Quoted in UpJourney on Narcissism
Quoted in UpJourney on 'How to Stop Being a Narcissist' along with 10 other experts
Link given below
The catch is that most narcissists live in denial, they rationalize their behavior or are even infuriated if the term narcissist is suggested to them. There is a lack of insight.
Contrary to popular belief that they are overconfident and haughty, narcissism is actually an overcompensation for low self-esteem and an ‘avoiding pain’ strategy. A narcissist is often not aware of this fact.
It’s a maladaptive defense mechanism, which avoids pain and involves excessive self-investment. Poor emotional strength is a hallmark, so they cushion themselves with justifications and evidence.
A narcissist is incapable of seeing another person’s pain or complaint as he doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable emotionally. There could be a past history of childhood trauma, bullying or inferiority complex during teenage or childhood.
The possibility of over-controlling parents also is likely. The people in close relationship with a narcissist often suffer as their needs are ignored.
Here are some ways to help yourself as a narcissist:
Introducing yourself to the possibility of there being two or more right answers
Most of the time they think if I am sure I am right the other person has to be wrong but it is possible to have two or more right answers depending on perspective.
For e.g.; It is possible that the best form of physical exercise could be yoga, running or gym. Each individual may find any of these answers right.
Be open for feedback
Collecting anonymous feedback from colleagues and friends about changes or problems people have from you so you can get an evaluation of behavior.
Being more in touch with the present moment
Listen to what people say instead of facing each day, person and situation with prejudice.
Identify past trauma
Try to notice if you’re avoiding any pain or trauma in your current life or in the past.
Compassion is not necessarily an inherent virtue but a skill that can be learned. Compassion toward self and others can be cultivated.