Quoted in Vice.com by Arman Khan on Quiet Quitting. 13th Dec, 2023
“For any relationship to last, there needs to be acceptance and growth,” said Nahid Dave, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist. “The initial weeks or months in a [romantic] relationship are full of dopamine kicks each time you meet or touch your partner [until] things plateau. When that happens, you feel bored and detached, and might end up quiet quitting, even subconsciously, [and you might] not always understand the reasons behind why.”
Dave added that in a digital world where just video calls and chats tend to suffice and where the need to be physically present is no longer the prerequisite for building connection, it’s becoming even harder to identify when one’s partner is doing the bare minimum.
Regardless of which side of the relationship you find yourself on, Dave suggested avoiding blame games. “Don’t point fingers and instead tell your partner that it’s happening to us and not me because there is no checklist for an ideal relationship,” she said. “Write down your expectations vs. reality, categorise your thoughts into feelings and facts, and introspect on what’s not working. Do you have proof and precedents to back your thoughts or are you imagining things?”
She added that our brains more easily adapt to the reality of someone passing away because there is closure in death. We struggle with letting go of someone who keeps us hanging on, as the hope of being able to one day sit down and work things out or return to the way things once were is still alive.
Photo credit: Getty images